White On White Trilogy: Jen's Story
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: HarmJen SUMMARY: Jen's version of the trilogy...COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: White On White Trilogy: Jen's Story

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Jen

TIMELINE: FWAFS and the events after it going differently.

WARNINGS: pure fluff, some may not like Mac, but she's being fully IN-CHARACTER according to everything she'd done on the show.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: the last part of White On White Trilogy, this time with Jen. As some may already know, the White On White Trilogy is based on how good Harm and Meg/Jen/Loren's uniforms would look hanging in the closet together, if Harm was married to one of these women. Hence White On White Trilogy... Harm's summer whites next to his wife's. Let's face it, Mac's khakis would clash terribly with Harm's whites, which is just symbolic for how much her personality clashes with Harm's. Brrrr. The reason why I am writing Harm with three different wives is because I love all three pairings and just couldn't decided on which woman to have as Harm's wife so I decided to write a different version for each of these ladies.

SUMMARY: Jen's version of the trilogy. A Harm/Jen twist on FWAFS and the coin toss.

Review! I'm not kidding guys!

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Jen was hurrying to get ready, she had a doctor's appointment in just over and hour.

She opened the door and quickly scanned through the contents of the closet, when she came upon something from her past.

She fingered gently the rough material, admiring how the white color shone brightly in the light.

Tender fingers caressed the chevrons on the sleeves of the small jacket, then slipped over a small divide of air to the larger one.

The sight of her old summer whites hanging together with Harm's current summer whites filled her with an emotion she couldn't describe. Literally. There were just so many strange, different emotions swirling through her that she just couldn't pinpoint them.

A sad smile tilted her lips as she thought about the last 2 and a half difficult years.

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Falling, however temporarily, under the spell of the slimy LT was one of the things Jen most regretted in her life.

She didn't know why it happened, but it was probably just a subconscious thing trying to move on from the man she'd been in love with for the past 3,5 years, a man she knew she could never have.

That was also the reason why she'd asked LtCol Mackenzie if she could go with her to San Diego.

Thankfully she had overheard the LT's disrespectful words to the LtCol and that worked like a bucket of ice-cold water in the face, waking her up to finally see the man for who he was. A womanizing, disrespectful, manipulative little worm of a person. A disgrace to the uniform, to the gender and to the species.

It had made her think her desire to go to San Diego through thoroughly and she'd finally realized why she'd done it and was ashamed of herself.

Telling the LtCol that she'd changed her mind wasn't that hard, though later on as she thought about it, it had occured to her that the LtCol believed she'd changed her mind because Vukovich (Jen had spent one tour just off the Croatian coast and knew that the correct and original pronounciation of the LT's last name was 'ch' and not 'k'. It's a Serbian last name and was probably changed by the immigration officers who were unfamiliar with the Slavic alphabet and added letters and sounds) would not be going to SD. But Jen didn't care what Mac believed were her motivations.

What was hard, a lot harder than anything imaginable, was to face the man she knew she'd hurt by asking another and ask him what was in her heart, if she could go with him to London.

When she'd opened the topic she'd caught Harm off-guard and thus he couldn't prevent his emotions showing on his face.

She could clearly read hurt, betrayal, puzzlement and wariness in his expressive eyes and it made her hang her head in sorrow, knowing she was the cause for it.

They'd built a good, solid friendship ever since they'd become neighbors, that year and a half ago, became friends who confided into each other and were there for each other unconditionally.

She'd even been sure that they'd been becoming more than friends, their exchanges becoming more intimate, not physically, but in the way they talked to each other, leaning closer together, speaking with softer, lower voices.

Then Pia showed up and the true strength of their bond was tested and exposed. Harm had helped Jen through every step of that difficult time, standing by her side, supporting her and believing in her, just as she'd done while he was Mattie's guardian. They pulled through together, though they hadn't managed to apprehend Pia.

That true closeness, that had been revealed, had thrown Jen into panic and the next few months were divided between things being as they'd been and Jen distancing herself from Harm. Which hadn't been hard, since he'd been absent a lot of the time, conducting investigations and using his talent and training by conducting Combat Air Patrols.

And then Mattie's plane went down and things were back to how they'd been. They immediately stood by each other, waiting for the young girl to wake up, supporting each other through their times of fear and grief. She was the one who comforted him, holding him in his arms as he cried silent tears of frustration, fear and apprehension. She was the one who held his hand when his former best friend hung up on him after she'd commented on him sounding funny just because she'd wanted to get back to the party and LT Vukovich.

Then Mattie came to and the whole situation went out of control again.

Just days later Harm was promoted and transferred to London and she'd hurt him by chosing Mac over him.

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REVIEW!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** remember guys, no matter how it looks like, this is a Harm/Jen fic, NOT a Harm/Mac. If you can't stand Harm and Jen together, please stop reading now.

Thanks to Carolfd for catching the slight error that is now corrected.

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Now she was standing before him, regret, apology and pleading for forgiveness showing in her eyes, lips spouting those impersonal words of asking him to allow her to be his Yeoman, and her heart begging him to give her the chance to make it up to him, prove him that she deserved his trust and friendship, that she regretted her short-lived infatuation with Vukovich.

He accepted hesitantly and 3 hours later she was standing in the tavern, watching as the coin flew through the air.

She was relieved when it was decided that the happy couple would be moving to London. Not because of her secured position, but because in her eyes the Captain deserved his promotion and position more than the LtCol ever would.

Harm had already given up so much for Mac, had already given up his career and flight status for her, while Mac had given up nothing for him, for 'them'. He shouldn't be the one to give up his career again, throw away his new promotion and the perfect position from which to eventually become the JAG of the Navy. No woman should ever expect or accept so many sacrifices from the man, without ever giving anything in return, always taking and never giving.

The coin had chosen and they were moving to London.

The first sign of trouble ahead was when the court would not assign Harm custody of Mattie so that he could take her with them. Their reasons were that Mattie wasn't in the shape to be going anywhere and the court would not have allowed her to go living to another country, even had Mattie been okay. The request was also denied because they were moving to a foreign city that had already been hit by terrorists and, as the family of a very prominent high-ranking US officer, they would've been a prime target.

That was also the start of the end, the start of the year from hell.

They had said teary goodbyes to Mattie and left for London that same day.

Harm and Mac had been given a luxurious apartment that came with Harm's post and Jen went to live on the base.

Everything went well for a while until Jen noticed increasing tension between Harm and Mac. The first time the alarms started blaring in Jen's head was at their wedding.

Harm and Mac had disappeared for a while during the reception and when they came back Jen could tell that they had been arguing about something. She had known Harm quite well and knew when he was upset and/or angry and had immediately caught the signs.

The next sign was the way Mac had aggressively corrected someone when they'd called her Mrs Rabb. It was another hint to Jen that something was wrong when Mac completely declined even thinking about taking Harm's name after having gotten married to him. She did not even compromise on hyphenating. Jen knew a lot of women who would've been honored to be Harm's wife and carry his name, much less carry his children. She was among them. Hell, she wanted it more than any other woman on the planet.

Months went by and Jen noticed more and more things that caused great deal of concern to her.

Harm started spending more time in the office, going home later, and when Mac came to the office she was always very tense and cool. There was not even one sign of that completely in love couple that she'd seen for the few hours before and after that fateful coin toss.

Slowly she managed to figure it out.

Mac resented Harm for giving up her career to go with him and she resented being a Navy wife, when before she'd been a Marine LtCol. Later on Harm also revealed to Jen that the situation had been escalating because their attempts at trying to conceive a child kept failing and Mac was losing hope and patience, channeling her anger and despair into getting angry at Harm.

When Jen saw them one day at home, having brought some files for Harm that he'd forgotten in the office, she was shocked to see just how far apart they'd grown.

She could yet again see the hopelessness in Harm's eyes, that tore her heart apart, that was a constant fixture in his eyes and demeanor after he'd returned from Paraguay and before he and Mac had gotten together. Harm still loved Mac and was forced to watch his marriage fall apart around his head. The marriage that he'd believed would never fail. And when Mac looked at Harm Jen was shaken to see hate in the older woman's eyes.

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REVIEW!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**SPOILERS**: People vs Mac, Stalker, What If, Trojan Horse, Going after Webb.

I would just like to repeat, once again, that the events in this fic are just one of the many ways that life after the coin could've gone and this version of events is not for those devoted Harm/Mac shippers that can't stand Harm with anyone else, and is not for those of the Mac fan community who believe that Mac is pristine and would never do anything wrong, much less hurt Harm. If you are one of them, please stop reading this fic now, because you won't like it.

We have seen in "People vs Rabb" that Mac could never survive in the civilian world, is neither emotionally, nor mentally mature enough to survive in a world where there is no-one to tell her what to do, how to live, and no-one who would give structure and organize her life for her, as the military does/did for her and with so many years in the service since that failure and with other events, her dependancy on the Corps to give her life structure and order had become stronger, perhaps to the point of essential. And, as we have seen in "What If" and is in-character for her according to her profile and from everything we've seen over 9 years of her on the show, she would've come to resent the one for whom she would've given up her commission and her resentment and hate would ultimately end the marriage.

Also, some of you may believe that I'm bashing Mac with what she'll do in this part, so I'd like to ask those people to remember the eps "People vs Mac" and "What if", in which we have been given canon proof that Mac is that kind of person. As a very close friend of mine can confirm, that kind of person never changes and just continues this kind of behaviour.

I know this was long, but I feel it needs to be said and put out there before you start reading the rest of this fic. Thank you.

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**Bree:** thanks for your review, I fully agree with you on the love, London and show's ending aspects.

**Carolfd:** thanks for the review and catching the error. It has been corrected.

**laura carr:** thanks for the review.

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**_WARNING_**: because of the subject handled in this part I'm updating the **_rating of this fic to T_**, because of minor hints of violence and because of one non-explicit, non-descriptive adult theme.

Now, on to the story.

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Things came to a head one day when Harm broke his left arm after a suspect, that had escaped some MP's, had shoved him out of his way and down a flight of stairs.

Jen had quickly called the medics and they had transported Harm to the on-base infirmary where they'd ran the full batery of tests and set his arm after having discovered that it was the only thing injured in the fall. He'd been incredibly lucky and Jen was shaking from the revelation of just how easily she could've lost him that day.

She'd managed to calm herself down by the time he was released and had immediately volunteered for the duty to drive him home.

They'd just entered the apartment when they heard strange noises.

They followed them, Harm having armed himself with a weapon he'd had stashed near the front door, and entered the bedroom.

There they received the shock of their lifetimes and Harm such a blow to his heart that it would take Jen quite a while to pick up the pieces of his heart because of it.

Harm would never, for the rest of his life, forget the sight of his wife so enthusiastically taking another man into her body, screaming encouragements so enthusiastically in a filthy language, taking him into the body that only Harm should've had access to. Little things like a marriage certificate and rings confirming that theory.

Mac was cheating on him. How long? Was this man the only man? Were there others? How many?

With all in their MARRIAGE BED? He felt sick at the sight before him and at the notion of her cheating on him with other men in their bed, in the bed that he slept in, in the bed that he believed he'd made love to her, in the bed he'd believed they were trying to create their baby.

His first instict was to cock the Glock and remove the safety, the two sounds immediately freezing the two participants.

Jen was for a second terrified that Harm would just kill them both in cold blood, wouldn't have blamed him, but she'd calmed down as soon as she caught his eye for just a second. There was an immense amount of betrayal and hurt there, but no murder intent. He was hurt and wanted to scare the shit out of the two in the bed as a small retribution for what they'd done to him.

The next 15 minutes were surreal to Jen, as if something from a dream. A very bad dream.

Harm, with a voice and tone that had veteran Force Recon Marines and Navy SEALs shaking in their boots and peeing in their pants, ordered the man to stand up and get away from his wife, unless he wanted a bullet into his private parts, receiving another shock when he saw who it was.

Mac'd been cheating on him with someone he'd considered a friend of his, a high official in the MI-6 and, to boot, the guy was about 15 years older than Harm, in his late 50's. Harm's mind immediately remembered the huge age difference between her and Farrow, and her and Cheggwidden, between whom Harm had clearly seen lust once or twice, like during the Coster ordeal, and Mac and Webb, and Mac and Tanveer.

Seemed like Mac had a thing for older men, authority figures, probably because of her father who was a Marine Sergeant, a thing called Authority Figure Fixation or Electra Complex and some sick fascination with the world of spies, a fascination that had almost cost her being tortured and had almost cost her her life many times.

A fascination that had cost her a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, because of which she had started a very damaging relationship with Webb and because of which she had on her permanent record a direct order of her Commanding Officer to seek psychiatric help. One could clearly see the connection between the age and the type of job the man she had been screwing had. Harm's nightmare, a hint of which he'd experienced in his daydream during Jen's wet-down, had come true.

To Jen's astonishment Mac had not reacted as expected of a woman caught cheating on her husband.

She had not been acting guilty, ashamed, scared or remorseful, she was actually aggressive towards Harm, blaming it (her cheating and the failure of their marriage) all on him, calling him ugly names. Even her lover was embarrassed by Mac's behaviour.

Harm stood as still as a block of granite, his expression stone-cold, the only thing betraying the storm of emotions inside him was the twitching of his jaw muscle.

His only words were. "Get dressed and get out. Both of you."

His words had finally cut through Mac's ranting, but another ranting about this being her apartment also was cut short when she saw the look in his eyes. She instantly paled and shut up, getting dressed in record time.

The two lovers were then gone in record time and the full realization of what had just happened dropped on Harm and Jen with the weight of the Schoenbrunn castle.

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**AN**: Sorry for the short part, but with the work College has dumped on me and restoring my bike, I have very little time to dedicate to fics, much less to beta-reading every part, which ususally takes me a while.

When I started writing this fic it didn't occur to me just how similar it is to the "What if" ep, except for a few things like it not ending with a Harm/Mac happy ending and with Harm finding happiness with another, in my eyes more suitable and deserving, woman. This fic is first and foremost a Harm/Jen fic.

Also, about the cheating thing... When we touched this topic in psych class in College, our professor told us that it is proven that cheaters are pathological creatures, they don't ever change, unless they cheated only because they were truly in love with their lover. And it's known that Mac had had a number of lovers while she was still married to Chris. Some of you may say that she would never cheat on Harm, that it would be different with him, but unfortunately that's not true. Mac is a regular cheater, which means she's a pathological and they never change and they never stop after having cheated once. The friend's father that I had mentioned, has cheated on his wife with another woman, while he and his wife had 3 children (the last of which he didn't even want), got that second woman with whom he cheated (she knew he was married) pregnant and dumped her after a few years. Now he's together with another woman, about 30 years younger and this all only in the space of a couple of years. THAT is what cheaters are like and that is Mac.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** whew, we're through the nasty and bad parts, from here on out it's just smooth H&J sailing. And today you're getting a very long chappy, just cause I'm such a great guy :)

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Harm's strength then left him and he collapsed into a nearby chair.

Jen, not knowing what else to do, put her hand on his shoulder in a silent gesture of support. She fully understood his reasons and didn't blame him when, a few minutes later, he asked her to give him some space.

She collected her things quietly and, with a long compassionate look towards the closed bedroom door, silently left the apartment, returning to the office.

Only then did Harm come out of the bedroom, he could no longer stay in the room in which the woman he loved had betrayed him, he went into his home office and allowed himself to grieve the final death of his marriage, a marriage he'd believed would last a lifetime, and of a relationship that had lasted, though very barely at times, for over 10 years.

He knew that the marriage was over and done with, floating dead in the water, even had Mac been repentant; but the fact was that he no longer trusted her and to him, trust was the most important condition for a relationship to work, even more important that love.

He'd seen couples who loved each other, but were not in love, succeed in a long term relationship, simply because they trusted each other and rightfully so. He had also seen couples, deeply in love, fail because there was not enough trust between them, they never fully trusted their partner, suspecting them all of the time and it was that mistrust that had ultimately killed those relationship.

He berated himself how could he have completely forgotten the vision he'd had of his marriage to Mac, all those years ago at Jen's wet-down, and why had he not noticed the signs in real life, that had been almost identical to signs in the vision. Already then he had subconsciously believed that Mac would not be faithful to him, how could he have forgotten that lesson and not notice the signs? He then acknowledged to himself that he'd been so ecstatic because Mac had accepted his proposal and so blinded by his happiness that he had not even noticed the most obvious sign.

Mac had not once told him straight out that she loved him.

Now that he thought about it he remembered Mac being the same with Brumby, whenever the guy had told her 'I love you' she always replied with 'Me too' or something like that, but never with 'I love you, too'.

She had not even told Harm she loved him, had not even said that lame 'me too', when he'd confessed his love for her for the first time and when he proposed to her. It should've sent those warning flags up, but he was so drunk with happiness at the time that he'd never noticed.

She had also never been the first to 'voice her feelings', her 'me too' had always been a response to Harm's 'I love you'.

He knew he'd been emotionally insecure and guarded for a long time, the loss of so many people he loved platonically and of so many women he'd been in love with, making him hesitant to say that faithful L word to anyone ever again; but he'd gotten a lot better a few years ago, the 'blame' going solely to Mattie and Jen when they lived together for that brief time as a family. A time he treasured more than he let anyone, not even himself, much less Mac, know.

Only when he'd become secure enough due to Mattie and Jen's influence had he gotten the courage to tell another person that he loved them, even though it was a platonic love, a paternal love, but that had eventually grown into an emotional security strong enough to finally be ready to admit to another person out loud that he loved Sarah Mackenzie. While the pressure to confess had been mainly Mattie's doing, it was Jen's constant, unyielding presence that had enabled him to trust that he won't lose the other person after he'd told her he loved her. While a child is more or less a safe bet, other adult people come with great emotional risks.

While the presence and love a child gives it's parent is constant and safe; the love, platonic or romantic, an adult person gets from a fellow adult person is not so safe, it's a risk, a big risk, because the other adult is submitted to changes in their own life that they can not control, not to mention the fact that they have a life completely separate from that first person; and because of all this, fate can easily part them, thus making the adult love uncertain, unsafe and constantly changing.

Because of that he had always had problems with fully trusting that the other adult person won't leave him, making him reluctant to give himself completely in any relationship, until Jen had cured him of it.

Her constant and unfailing presence in his life, her silent and faithful support, her friendship, openness and that never-holding-anything-back-with-you, all this had cured him of his issues and fears and had enabled him to finally give himself fully to another person.

And with that Harm decided that he would not let Mac's betrayal break him, he would not give her the satisfaction of making him revert to his old ways, of letting her be the cause for him spending the rest of his life alone and miserable, because he would not be able to trust another person again because of what Mac had done to him; and this was decided mainly because he would do anything not do let Jen down.

With those thoughts came along the realisation of just how tightly and intricately intervowen was Jen into his life, how _essential_ she was to him, his life, his emotional and mental health and security and to his overall happines. He didn't know what he'd have done without her these past 3 years and he was sure he didn't want to know what he'd do if he ever lost her. It had been over 10 years since he'd last had such a warm, generous and giving friend, who was a steadfast support to him, without either deliberately deflating his ego or inflating it. And only now did occur to Harm just how much were Meg and Jen alike, except for the physical appearance, and he thanked the powers that be for having put such extraordinary women into his life twice.

The irony now was that the person for whom he'd been cured had, not only left him, but had betrayed him in one of the worst possible ways; and the person who had cured him was still with him, still by his side and he was stunned to realize that he hoped she would always be.

Only then, in the solitude of his apartment had Harm felt safe enough to let the tears come and let the strain of the last few months, last few years, wash away in a cathartic storm.

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When Harm came back to himself the first thing he did was to hire a cleaning service to strip the bed. Then he arranged to have the bed dismantled and have it, together with the the mattress and the linen, burned. He could no longer sleep in that bed even had someone held a gun to his head.

The next thing he did was to pack up Mac's belongings as best as he could with his broken arm.

Harm then contacted a lawyer, specializing in divorces, and arranged for an appointment on the next day, first thing in the morning. Because Sturgis and several other friends had convinced Harm to write up and sign a pre-marriage contract with Mac, something he, at the time, felt was unneeded and even insulting to Mac, the divorce proceedings went quickly, because one of the clauses was about the infidelity of one partner. Only now did Mac's reluctance to sign came back to him, however she did sign it in the end. Perhaps she really did believe at the start that she could be faithful to him. But that was of no consequence now. By cheating on him Mac had lost all rights to alimony and any kind of support, as well as all benefits that a military member's wife has, like the right to medical treatment in military hospitals,... She only got the money that she had put into their joint account and nothing more. By having resigned before her 20 was up and giving up the active reserve status and having another adultery on her record, Mac had no chance of getting her career in the Corps back. Her infidelity had cost her dearly. Jen had been a witness to Mac's infidelity and had served as a witness for Harm's case, effectively preventing any kind of protest or claim of innocence Mac could've made. As the case was clean cut the divorce came through very quickly, thanks to the excellent lawyer Harm had hired and to the judge, who was fully aware of the political ramnifications and of the huge fallout dragging the case on could've had.

But the affair somehow got leaked to the press and a huge scandal errupted, making matters worse for Harm.

The MI-6 official was relieved of duty and fired for disgracing the agency, Mac returned back to the States in disgrace and would never again be accepted into the service and Harm received a lot of unwanted attention, among the US military staff in London and the whole political scene of which he was a member because of his high position as Force Judge Advocate Naval Forces Europe. There had been a lot of whispering behind his back at various political meetings and high class social events for some time, not to mention on the base.

Thankfully, as he was not one of the participants but the victim, his career didn't take a hit and the dreaded call from Cresswell, informing him that he was relieved of duty, never came. His career and Jen's support were all he still had and by losing his job he would also lose Jen's support as he would have had to return to the US, while she would have had to remain in London.

Thus began the long recovery of his broken heart.

The help and support of the friends he'd made in London and especially of Jen, went a long way to help him move on from the latest disaster in his personal life and slowly Harm began living once again.

He had even managed to talk once about what Mac's betrayal had done to him.

Among his words of hurt and betrayal were most profound his words of realization about Mac and their relationship being doomed from the start: "I can't believe that it had never even occured to me that this would happen. And with Mac's history of infidelity it had never even occured to me that she could ever cheat on me. It sure as hell explains why she'd been so distant, even in bed, those last few months. And to think I invested 10 years of love into her and into that relationship only for her to do that! And that in our marriage bed! Now that I look back on it, I realize that our relationship was doomed from the start. We were too different to ever live in peace in such a close proximity as marriage. I should've known, from knowing Mac, that she would come to resent me for her giving up her career for our relationship. To Mac her Marines were everything, she is no longer capable of surviving in the real world without someone else ordering her what to do, how to think and how to live her life. And she would hate and resent anyone taking that away from her. Hindsight is a bitch, huh?"

With having vocally stated his realization and hurt Harm was finally well on the road to healing.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Bree:** thanks for the review and the kind words! We seem to agree on many things and I have to say that your POV on Mac swearing Sturgis to silence has a lot of merit and logic. I also agree with you on the other things. Hope you'll enjoy this part also!

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But one thing that had not returned was his willingness to risk his heart by starting a romantic relationship with someone. He was just not ready yet, still healing his broken heart, understandably gun-shy from the latest occasion of having his heart broken. Yet he was determined that this condition would not be permanent, he didn't want to give Mac the satisfaction of knowing she was the cause for him spending the rest of his life alone and lonely.

There had been many interested women, not only was he influental, famous and powerful, but he was also a very handsome man, tall and strong. However they didn't count on the fact that he was also a very intelligent man and could immediately smell out gold- and fame-diggers. Harm was not interested in any of them.

Though Jen was secretly happy for that in the hidden selfish part of her heart, where she wanted him just to herself and because the women that wanted him were gold-diggers, she was also afraid that Harm would end up like Admiral Chegwidden, alone, bitter, old and closed off from everyone. Chegwidden at least had a daughter, which saved him somewhat, while Harm didn't even have that. It would've been such a waste for such a wonderful and giving person, that had so much love to give, to end up alone and lonely.

Yet their world was hit by another big change.

Jen's enlistment was finally up and she'd decided to stay in London. Through the contacts she'd made there she'd managed to get a job and a work permit. She got employed by a think-tank that specialized in helping offices and firms reconstruct their organisation in order to achieve optimum efficiency. At the same time she was in the last year of her studies and would be graduating soon.

When Harm received the notification from the Personnel Department about her upcoming end of enlistment he was struck with terror.

He couldn't lose her now!

Not ever.

He needed her!

He needed her to remain sane, just to get through the day.

If she'd retire she would be going back to the States and then he would never see her again. She would find a job, get herself a (hopefully) good man, have a couple of kids (he didn't want to acknowledge even to himself the fact that the idea of Jen finding someone else, much less having kids with them, bothered him immensely, to the point of physical reaction to the thought. He stubbornly denied to himself that the reason for it was what it looked like.) and forget about him. And the last blockade between him and a life without meaning, without warmth, without friendship, a life of loneliness, pain, regret; would be gone.

When Jen came in to give him some files she was shaken by finding him undergoing what looked like shock. When he gave her the message he'd received, she was relieved that the shock was more figurative than a medical condition and that she wouldn't have to be calling the medics. She quickly explained to him that she was retiring (and immediately regretted telling him that part first, cause she was afraid for a second that he'd have an anxiety attack or a stroke), but was staying in London and already had a job lined up. In a very daring move she outright told him that she wouldn't be leaving him, he wouldn't be losing her, and was relieved not only by not being reprimanded for such a bold statement, but also to see a genuine smile break out on his face, even thought it was immediately suppressed. It reaffirmed her in her decision and also gave her great hopes for the future.

All to soon, to Harm, Jen's last day in the Navy was there and the whole office was in a state of almost-mourning. Everyone liked the friendly, cheerful and caring young woman and were sad to see her go. But this is life, especially military life, and change happens constantly, people moving on all the time.

The next day Jen started her new job and thus the rest of her life.

She was enjoying her new job immensely, more than she ever had her job in the Navy which consisted of the same boring routine of handling files and answering the phone. Here she was constantly intellectually challenged, the atmosphere was great, a great team to work with and her impending graduation was insuring a promotion for her and bigger pay. Psychology is a skill very important and needed in this area of think-tank.

Yet it lacked one thing that her job in the Navy had had in abundance.

There was no Harm constantly around. She was missing him terribly. After having spent practically 16 hours a day around someone, which is much more than what married couples spend together, given that they sleep for 8 hours every day and mostly don't work together; for a few years straight to suddenly go to just 5-8 hours max per day was to her the same as going cold turkey. Not that she had ever gone through cold turkey, but she imagined it was just like what she was going through now. She was going through a Harm-withdrawal and the effects were very unpleasant.

There was one good side, though.

Jen's liberation from under the regs had given them the chance to become better friends and spend more time together without endangering their careers.

And she took full advantage of it.

For the first time in her life Jen was living without having to worry about how to spend each penny.

It was heaven on Earth for her, she had plenty of money, respect of her colleagues, a great team to work with and, most of all, she had Harm as she'd never had him before, without those stupid regs coming between them, dictating their interactions and limiting what they could say and feel.

In the meantime Harm was so proud of Jen he thought he'd burst from puffing his chest in pride so much whenever he was with her or just thought of her.

She was his best friend, confidant and his rock and she was living her own success story.

He was also aware of the fact that the pain from Mac's betrayal was hurting less and less and he was only occasionally thinking of her, unlike the first few days when he'd thought of her constantly.

Had they parted any other way Harm would've still loved her as a friend, but now he felt nothing for her. He didn't hate her, he didn't love her, he didn't like her nor dislike her; he had reached that point in healing where Mac no longer meant anything to him and could never hurt him again, as she, her actions or words meant nothing to him.

He had finally moved on.

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	6. Chapter 6

**AN**: one short part left, which still makes this fic the longest of the trilogy, others being 6 or 7 times shorter.

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Then came a few hard weeks for Harm and Jen.

Harm had to attend a high-level meeting in DC together with other Force Judge Advocates and it took him away from London for a whole week.

He was missing Jen something awful and his phone bill fully showed that.

This forced distance helped Harm come to a few truths.

He'd come to depend on Jen for so many things in his life that he couldn't even imagine his life without her in it and this realisation shook him to the core.

Even when living in DC he knew he was quite dependant on Jen, emotionally and mentally, as well as her being his friend, her taking care of Mattie when he had to go out of town on investigation, he was amazed and awed by her every time when she not only immediately said yes when he asked her if she could keep an eye on Mattie, but even volunteered to do so.

He had never, in all his life, met a more friendly, loving, generous and giving, selfless person than Jennifer Coates. She was a keeper, one of those rare pure people that one meets only once in a lifetime, and who a person should just grab (if they are fortunate enough to be loved by such a person), hold on and never let go.

Yet, in DC he was not as dependant on Jen as he was now. Now his world would stop existing if she disappeared from his life or if something happened to her. If he lost her, he knew there would be no way for him to recover, much less go on. The thought of him finding another woman with whom to share his life had Jen died or left was absolutely ridiculous. If Jen died, he'd die also, literally, plain and simple. And THAT was the realization that had made him take a seat on his chair, lest he fall down, since his legs were not able to hold him anymore.

He didn't know what he'd done to deserve her, but he wasn't foolish to look a gift horse in the mouth and was thanking every possible deity (from Persian to Roman gods) for having her in his life.

This longing to see her again and the realization of how much she meant to him also gave him quite something to think about. It was too big a longing to be fitting a friend, no matter how close, and it was the first time that he'd really thought about the possibility that he may be in love with Jen.

He decided to table that line of thought until he could get home and see Jen again.

Yet, when he came home she wasn't there.

She'd called him the day before and told him she'd be in Germany for 2 weeks helping a branch of Mercedes-Benz set up a new office and hire the optimal staff.

He thought he'd die when he heard 2 weeks.

He lasted barely a week.

A week after his return home he took a long weekend and decided to see a bit of Europe and his trip just _accidentally _happened to take him through the town where Jen was.

When she opened the door to her hotel room she dropped what she had in her hands from shock.

Which would've been dropped anyway since, when she recovered, she jumped into his arms and started hugging the life out of him between excited squeals (something she later denied ever doing).

The endorphins, adrenalin and their love for each other was ultimately the reason for what happened then.

Harm and Jen suddenly found themselves locked into a passionate kiss, one so wonderful that neither had any inclination to stop it.

So, they didn't.

That was the start of their romantic relationship.

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	7. Chapter 7

**an:** come on, guys, you can do better than that. Review!

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After the kiss they'd managed to calm down and have a long, serious talk.

Feelings came to be admitted, as were hopes and dreams for the future.

From then on it went quickly.

After having known each other for about 5 years and a part of that being spent sharing custody over a child, practically being parents together; knowing each other better than anyone else ever had; and the past few months practically dating, they saw no need to take any unnecessary steps, like taking the time to get to know each other.

Within a month Jen was carrying around an antique engagement ring and 2 months after that they were married.

The guest list was short, as it would've been impossible to coordinate all of their friends to have leave on exactly the same days. Just Harm's parents, Jen's aunts from her mom's side and General Cresswell, who was incidentally in Britain at that time.

Their marriage stirred up the local high society, who always loves any potential of a scandal, as Jen had been Harm's yeoman and an enlisted some time ago.

Yet, after seeing the two lovebirds together even the most evil of tongues had to admit that they were the perfect match and obviously completely in love and made for each other. Even the british snobby high society quickly fell victim to Jen's friendliness and personality that always quickly turned everyone into her friend, so those snobby nobles had no chance of resisting her.

Harm and Jen had finally found true happiness.

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Jen tenderly rubbed her barely-there baby mound, still deep in memories.

As both of them wanted a family and didn't want to wait they had immediately started trying for a baby and after a few disappointing months they'd finally managed it. And now Jen was 3 months pregnant with their first child and they were both ecstatic over the fact.

Jen heard Harm calling her and quickly snagged the dress she was looking for, before she'd gotten submerged in memories, off the hanger to change into it.

Today they would be getting their first look at their baby and she didn't want to be late.

As she was closing the door of the closet Jen reflected that she was truly grateful to the Navy for one thing.

It had introduced her to Harm.

And as she smiled up at her beloved she knew that she would never lose him, nor would he ever lose her.

For it was written in the stars.

THE END

AN: thus ends the longest and last part of the WOW trilogy.

REVIEW!!!!


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